Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
