There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
