when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Still dying that you shit outside
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
