Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
