if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
