Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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