Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
