Jerry, you need to find god
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
