Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He felt like a one man threesome
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
