based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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