I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
