I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
