thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if only i could text you this smell
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
