Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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