he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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