how can u be prego again
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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