i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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