I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
