lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
where am i from again
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
