Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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