Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We talked him into tasing himself.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
my liver is dry heaving
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
