Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
