Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
