Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
