tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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