If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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