I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize