Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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