I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
