don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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