Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
