I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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