So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
