I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
