Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The ass gains better be worth it
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