Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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