i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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