from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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