That's intense
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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