I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
