I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
