fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
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It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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