i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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