I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
