It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
