hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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