I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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