so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
