Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
