no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
