What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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