I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
