my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she told me i tasted like america
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
