You're so nebulous sometimes
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The struggles of a small town man whore
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
