we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Girls should come with a carfax report
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
