What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
