just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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