i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
