conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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