Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think my vagina is haunted
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Pants are for mortals
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
