only you would photoshop your dick
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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