Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
