I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
