If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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