Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I am mentally ready for anal.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize