Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
