I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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