I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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