College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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