I'm going to jail i love you
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize