I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
