Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
