you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize