ugly people sure do ruin things
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize